Was just listening to a Driscoll sermon on demons, and some interesting points came up. Points that I would have known but perhaps wouldn't always put in a simple way..
I liked this quote from Clinton Arnold:

"A servant of Christ can no more avoid demons than a gardener can avoid weeds

So if you serve Jesus then you are going to meet demons, it's just the way it is..

Satan is not equal to God (Satan was a CREATED thing)
Satan is not All knowing/All powerful/and Cannot be everywhere

Satan is not our only enemy..(the world/the flesh/the devil).
If you are being attacked spiritually it is probably not the devil. The devil can only attack one person at a time, he can send a limited number of demons to attack a limited number of persons. Satan would be harassing someone like Billy Graham, if you are being harassed it's probably one of Satan's servants..
The flesh is our inside and our own sick desires and many problems that we perhaps blame on Satan (I know I have done) are just our flesh. If Satan has only limited demons why would he send a demon to attack you, when you are already attacking yourself?
And again as Driscoll said:

"If you are in a battle and have your own gun in your mouth why would he send one of his few soldiers to attack you when you are going to kill yourself?"

THE WORLD: if you believe what everyone else believes, behave how everyone else behaves, then you are living a satanic life. The world tempts you to sin, to be a consumer rather than to give, to live for yourself etc..

Driscoll then goes on to talk about Avatar and stating how demonic the film is (false ideology etc)

But yeah check it out.. its MARS HILL, MARK DRISCOLL - LUKE: JESUS AND DEMONS

It would seem that my frustrations in different degrees of submission Christians live out their lives, boils down to a question. From the ‘Sunday’ Christian to the Martyr, we can see a different levels of submission. The question is a big one, as the answer begs a life of complete submission to Father. Deep down in our subconscious or may be even in the conscious we have asked a question of God. We have asked a question of our own faith, and the answer becomes the foundation for our Christian living. I would suggest that you have asked this ask question before, whether you have realised it or not. I too now ask you the question:

Do you really believe it?

I ask you to search for heart for the answer rather than giving the automated response, ‘of course I do’. Think for a moment. Pursue an answer to this and discover your level of belief or level of unbelief. Scratching the surface to the truth is not what God desires, I am sure you realise He wants more. After all, you have been taught it. But has this truth dropped from your head to your heart?

Again, do you really believe it?

I am convinced that when we do chase answers, we find them. If we are willing to delve deep into a quest for the truth we will find the uncomfortable answers, and the insatiable truth. When we find the answer and are convinced of the truth we are left with two options. To follow or not. Be aware that to not follow could mean being a 99% Christian.

If you are not fighting for the cause and following the truth, that you claim to believe with everything you have, I should contend that you may never have met Him. I use the term ‘50% Christian’ often, however, there is no such thing. We must realise that He desires nothing less than all of you. If you do not submit all, may I ask you, do you even no Him?
Do you really believe it?

I find myself asking, where does God draw the line in regards to our submission to Him? How much does he want? Would it simply be a prayer? Most of our lives and the odd idol? Everything but a relationship? I can safely say that He wants nothing less than every part of our beings.

If we truly saw the irresistible face of Christ, would we ever retain any part of our lives for ourselves? So, if we do not give everything, what are we saying about our faith? What are we even saying about Christ and His sacrifice? The truth, I find, is painful. The truth means discomfort. The truth means action not passivity, the greatest danger to a Christian. The truth of Christ means we submit everything. If you don’t submit everything, ask, do you know Him?

I beg you to search yourself. Find your level of submission and ask yourself whether you actually believe it or not. I believe it is a dangerous question. You will either stay the same and ignore the truth or change into His likeness.

I have asked this question recently in regards to the great commission. I have decided to refer to it as ‘The Great Implication’. If we really believe what we preach and are exposed to this command it leads to one thing; this is not a cold shoulder. The implication of understanding the truth is catastrophic. Devastating for everything we had planned. Overwhelming for our hearts to the point of breaking. Father desires everything from us, anything less will be considered luke-warm and be vomited out. If we submit all but a little, I believe, we have not seen Him and we don’t even know Him. If we knew Him rightly, we would automatically put Him first, above everything else. Jesus requires all. We must surrender all.

A moment of change or a life time process? However it is done,you decide.
At first I find it amusing when a Christian is stubborn enough to reject the truth of life change. But I think again, and it hurts. This is a dashed hope for a dying world. Giving your cold shoulder to truth results in a luke-warm ‘Christian’.

I look around my nation. It is lost. I am in awe that God’s forgiveness can stretch so far, to forgive the church for her idolatry. Across my nation I look for a passion for souls, I see little, and wonder where God went. But then I remember, God left when we forgot our neighbours. When we crushed them. When we put other things before God.

Kenya is coming.

I am coming from a comfortable western, materialistic, bubble.
The world hurts.
In 3 days I will be skipping into a broken nation, with more westerners. We will have our digital Cameras, Malaria Pills and hand sanitizer. The people have none of these… we do. I know the culture is different, but there is more to this.

Could I see reality for a moment please?

A hurting world is nigh and I would like to see reality. I take a glimpse and realise that very very very few warriors of the cross are fighting; or even aware of the fight. Did we miss the saviour’s teaching? Did we close our ears and shut our Bibles at the call to action? What does submission even mean to us?

Please, give me excuses. I am sure you have thought of many. May I hazard a guess? You have kids? A mortgage? Retirement to pursue? Cars? Wealth? Friends? Family? To name but a few. But listen to this, one day we will all have to stand before GOD. One day we all will give an account to the creator of this universe. One day every little thing said and done will be laid bear. What will you say then? Did you think of the kingdom first?

I will finish with the question we must ask ourselves, do we really believe it?

Do you really believe it?

Every Saturday I have the chance to lay in, however I can't. My body clock is far too strong, so when I am awake, I am awake for good. So at 7:30 (which for me is a 45 minute lay in, not too bad really) I lay in bed thinking for a while. I was looking at the ceiling and the pattern in the paint, I realised that it looks like the Alps from my bed.
My mind was running along at its usual pace, from mountains to marriage, music to carpentry, painting to people. I stopped to think about people a bit more.

I love people.

I got thinking about the last few years and actually how many new people I have met. Literally thousands. Every one of them unique. Every one of them an inspiration. I thought about God's blessing of friends and how much a value them, for my nearest and dearest to those on a different continent. What a wonderful job God did with people?

I know we get it all wrong and will continue to do so. I get that there isn't a sinless bone in our bodies but there is still something special about people. Could it be visible potential?

As I lay there I remembered the blessings of people in my life. I thought about family, my boys at home, the folks at church, the countless Americans and Brazilians, a few Canadians and Indonesians. Teachers at school and college. I remembered all the time I have laughed and smiled; it bought tears to my eyes. I have had so many great times indeed. What a blessing.

If life was to end now it wouldn't be so bad at all. Thank God for what I've had so far. I thank Him in advance for what's coming. Thank Him for today, the present, a present. A magnificent gift. The sun is shining today, there are people around, and I have air in my lungs, what more could I want?

I think God likes people too. I think He loves people.

I want to start by saying, I don't mean for this to potentially sound proud or prideful in anyway, I ask the Lord lets me deliver what he wants me to deliver in the way he wants. (I will probably end up looking back at this and realising I have spoken too soon).

February so far has been a crazy weird month.

Early in the month my relationship, which I thought honestly would last, didn't. It came to an abrupt end, going from intensive to nothing in less than 2 days.
I could probably write a book on it but I won't and instead on here I will keep it short.

To put it simply, I was devastated. The one person whom I had allow to see the real me, and to get to know me, and the person whom I gave all my waking energy to, had gone.

The relationship began with her being a very new christian (she started coming to church again because I was there) And I said I wanted to wait till she was right with God and with herself. (Become more independent and have the faith for herself).
I pleaded with God to make it right so we could be together, I had already handed over my heart. So there we were, together.

My energy taken up with I guess at times 'forcing my view' (biblical and out of love) but probably not always in the best way. I tried to 'personally' refine her myself, which is never going to work and will always backfire. We would pray and read, but blew hot and cold. I guess my relationship with God was now 'breached'?..

I had also said at the beginning of the relationship that a Christian Ministry I was starting was to not be hampered during our time together, as I knew through prayer that God wanted me to do that. And as I got more emotionally and mentally involved, my desire for that petered out. I turned down mission trips because I guess of a fear of 'if i'm away what will she be doing.' How stupid of me!.. It goes to show how unready I am for a relationship!!

But anyway I always brought the relationship before the Lord and asked for clear signs, to carry on and to also stop. I had signs that it was right, until 4 weeks before we were to split. Church had been about 'giving up everything for God'. I said, yeah for sure God you can have my macbook, blackberry etc. But I was blocking out the girlfriend in my head, I would not let go! Ironically the blackberry did break, and the macbook crashed but still I did not want to let go of my girlfriend. Similar talks came over the next 3 weeks, some about going on mission etc. And I would always be fired up after listening.

To cut all the other bits, It got weird on a thursday and ended on the friday. I had been stubborn, I was not giving her up, but amazingly ;), she had also been challenged about the relationship and couldn't shift it from her mind and knew what had to happen despite battling against it.

I cannot explain the feeling from going from all to nothing, but I guess lots of you know the emotion and feeling. Well yeah it's a killer. However in the midst of the pain there was joy. During our conversation she believed she was holding me back spiritually and that she had personally come to a place in her life where she felt independent and that she wanted to go alone with God. The 2 things that I said at the beginning of the relationship I wanted, had come. It made giving her up that bit easier. When I say easier! I mean I was delighted in the mature God 'seeked' decision.

The first thoughts I had before all the doubt and satans niggling. Was Why?
Why God have you taken away the one thing I have given almost everything for? And I remember just laying back and thinking to when we first met and where she was spiritually and up until 1 hour previous where she had so maturely spoken for the best of us both. It was a real kick in the teeth and proudness check, and God was saying if you don't do what I say, I will do it another way.

Now here a couple of weeks on and yeah it's hard, I was always worried about her and wanted to care for her and talk to her and now I can't, I have to let go. But through this, I am filling the gap with more of Him. infact I'm trying to flood myself with him and what he wants for me..

The Christian ministry has again delighted me after a bleak november,december,january and already doors are opening again leading into wide wide corridors and it is so exciting to see what God has planned.

So really in relation to the title of the post, was I a mercenary? was I there to 'bridge' (not really but you know what I mean) her to Jesus and back in to his arms? Was I just there to nudge her back on path. I guess in a few years I can look back and say.

Just have to say though. Listen to him. When he says something do it! And if you don't he will do it anyway haha..
Even if its the hardest thing ever (so you think) I was stubborn and I am far from 'over it'. Seeing her tonight at church will probably give a fresh jab in ribs but so be it. We want the best for each other and who knows what God has planned for the future, and how our paths might cross when the time is right (if the time is right).

Just wanted to leave these two songs that I have listened to almost on repeat :)

Have a boss day.